The Science (and Heart) of Kindness: Reflections on 50 RAKs for 50 Years

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Inspired by Tamara Letter’s Passion for Kindness and her journey of completing 40 random acts of kindness (RAKs) for her 40th birthday (and then 50 for her 50th), and by my friend Keelie Allen’s “Random Acts of Keelie” for her 40th, I set out to complete 50 Random Acts of Kindness for my 50th birthday. While I didn’t reach the full fifty, completing around 30, I gained something far more powerful than I expected. These acts became a lifeline during a difficult time, as I faced mental health challenges brought on by a harmful work environment, which I share openly in my blog post, From Trust to Trauma.

Why Kindness?

We often think of kindness as something we do for others. And it is. But the science tells us it’s also deeply transformative for the giver. Kindness increases levels of oxytocin, the “love hormone,” which lowers blood pressure and improves heart health. It also boosts serotonin, which impacts mood and anxiety, and increases dopamine, which gives us that natural “helper’s high.”

Research shows that practicing kindness can:

• Reduce stress

• Increase life satisfaction

• Improve relationships and connection

• Reduce symptoms of anxiety and depression

• Enhance resilience and overall wellbeing

These aren’t just fleeting benefits; they create a powerful feedback loop. According to positive psychology research, the more we engage in kind acts, the more we cultivate positive emotions, and the more emotionally buoyant we become. Kindness, it turns out, is both a gift and a buffer.

Tamara describes kindness as a “ripple effect,” and I experienced that firsthand. A simple gesture - a note, a flower, a smile - often came back in unexpected ways, especially on the days I needed it most. As Keelie demonstrated through her Instagram project, kindness also becomes a form of shared humanity, connecting strangers through compassion and reminding us we’re not alone.

My 30 Acts of Kindness

While I had hoped to complete 50 RAKs, I reached about 30. Here are just a few that reminded me of the joy and power of giving:

• Left a book about kindness on the train for someone to discover.

• Gifted colouring books and pencils to children in hospital.

• Wrote a gratitude letter.

• Left positive notes and key rings for colleagues and at the gym.

• Donated books, food, clothing, glasses, and more.

• Thanked the people who often go unseen - cleaners, reception staff, hospitality workers and small business owners.

Each one was an intentional act to brighten someone’s day, but in doing so, they brightened mine too.

When Kindness Meets Challenge

Kindness didn’t “cure” the mental health challenges I was facing, but it did anchor me. Amidst workplace stress that eroded my confidence and trust, these acts served as a way to reclaim part of myself. They reminded me of who I was outside of trauma: someone who chooses light. Someone who still believed in the goodness of people.

In From Trust to Trauma, I wrote about how my positive psychology training helped me recognise the signs of burnout and toxicity, but also how difficult it was to stay afloat. Practicing kindness gave me something tangible to hold onto. It became a tool of healing, not avoidance. It connected me back to my values, especially the values of empathy, generosity, and community.

Final Thoughts: Kindness as a Practice, Not a Project

While my original goal was to complete 50 RAKs, I remembered that kindness isn’t about checking boxes - it’s about how we choose to show up in the world, especially when things are hard. This experience has reaffirmed my belief that even small acts can shift the energy around us. As Tamara Letter says, “Kindness isn’t about grand gestures - it’s about making a difference, one person at a time.”

I may not have reached 50 this time, but I will carry the spirit of those 30 RAKs with me always - and I’ll continue to pay it forward, one ripple at a time.

“Do things for people not because of who they are or what they do in return, but because of who you are.” - Harold S. Kushner